Orange Fish

A 4 year old has the power to bring out 2 extreme emotions in me.

The majority of the time: "Oh, I swear to you right now, child, I am for serious when I say you better stop fill in the blank with some sort of 4 year old boy mischief."
The rest of the time it's: "Wow! You are the cutest little child that has ever walked the face of this earth. I hope you know that I love you!"

His name is Bonga and I love him to death. There are days (a lot of days) he drives me crazy and is the naughtiest little guy ever. Then there are times where I fall deeply in love with this little boy. He is one of the ways God blesses me on a daily basis. If I am upset/tired/overwhelmed about anything, big or small, Bonga seems to find me, grab me around my legs and look up at me with an indescribable smile that brightens my day. He even brightens the days that I didn't know could get any brighter! He absolutely holds my heart in his hand.

Last Thursday I was finishing up my preschool class with the epic novel Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What do you see? We were practicing colors and names of animals accompanied with fun animal noises and such. When I was done reading I let the kids go but Bonga stayed around, grabbed the book and thrust it up at me. So, I sat down in the chair to re-read it with him. He proceeded in kneeling between my knees, putting his arms over my knees and swinging back and forth on his armpits...kind of like the parallel bars in gymnastics, but not quite :) I would turn the page, he would offer up all of the descriptive words he could remember and I would fill in the gaps. We continued on like this page after page while we went through the book 3 more times to his demanding. He would use me as his swing, I would point to the picture, he would try to think if it was called a bird or a cat and whether it was red or blue. He was getting about 60% of them correct...not too shabby for a boy whose only English in the day comes during our short time together. But, every time we came across something orange his eyes would get wide and his grin would explode while he shouted "Orange!" There are many theories as to why he may like and remember this color above all other colors but I think it's because, secretly, he's a Hope College fan. Anyways, he had this same reaction every time we came across a fish. And, when we got to the always exciting orange fish, hold on because he got super pumped!

"ORANGE FISH!"

I understand this is just a seemingly insignificant story but Bonga made me smile and laugh with his "orange fish" excitement long after the book was put away. Writing this several days after our story time still makes me smile and overwhelms my heart with happiness.

It has made me realize that I love these kids, this place and this life deeply. My love pretty much quadrupled last week. I thought I loved it but I've come upon a whole new level...an orange fish level. There is no logical explanation as to the reasoning behind this jump occurring last week. But, why do I always analyze things for a logical explanation?

It's plain and simple: God was romancing me (He's doing this A LOT recently) and, in the mean time, helping me understand His love. I know that my love for Bonga is no where near God's love for me but I'm understanding it a little bit more. Most of the time Bonga is naughty and driving me crazy. But there are other times, the times I cherish and remember most, where he swings on my knees in appreciation, learning and love. It's those times that stick in my memory and the times that will break into my thoughts when his name is mentioned. Tomorrow he will probably be running around like a crazy person or swinging from the ceiling beams but I still love him ridiculously a lot.
I'm sure there are countless times where God is saying, "Oh, child, you are driving me crazy!" His love for me, though, washes over that. Just like I loved watching Bonga get excited, I think God likes watching me get excited. He gives me Bonga, along with all the other kids and experiences here, as my orange fish. Despite how I behaved that day, at the end of the day, the only thing God says is "Oh, how I love you!" as I swing on His knees in eager expectation for Him to turn the page and there to be an orange fish displayed for me.

I know I just had a post with song lyrics in it but songs are getting me excited right now so I want to share it with you:

David Crowder's How He Loves

He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us oh
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us oh,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.

And we are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If His grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.
And heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside my chest,
I don't have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way...

That He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.

Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.



I hope you find your orange fish today