Sigh

Deep breath.

A sigh is usually the result of exhaustion, stress or being overwhelmed...all very adult emotions. A deep sigh along with a meditation of "in with the good, out with the bad" and some coffee can keep a busy adult going for a long time. Yesterday I was absolutely exhausted. I packed the past couple days full with teaching, tutoring, leading, loving, encouraging, running, coloring and dancing. I caught myself sighing frequently; probably because I was so tired I forgot to breathe :) The point I want to make is sighing is something "grown-ups" do.

After my preschool class I was watching the kids play. I felt little hands grab my pants and a head against my knees. Although it wasn't with the usual defensive tackle force the kids muster up when running at me, I nonetheless expected to look down at a beautiful face shining back at me with a smile. But, instead, I looked down to find a little guy no more than 2 1/2 years old, not coming up much past my knees with his head hung low in a position of defeat. He was gripping onto my jeans with a sense of desperation. I grabbed his hands to encourage him to look up at me. His demeanor did not change. His arms were held up in my hands but his head still hung low. I knelt down to his level hoping he would now smile at me but his head still hung low. Finally, after a few encouraging words, he looked up at me and sighed a deep sigh. His eyes looked as tired and worn-out as I imagined mine to look. The only difference is that my little man is 2 years old. This absolutely broke my heart. Tears started forming in my eyes as I pulled him into my arms. What does my man go through every day to make him come to a point where he looks more like an adult and sighs as if his life is wearing him down? So, I held him in my arms as he gripped my shirt and buried his face in my neck.

I am disappointed this is all I can do for my little guy. I can hold him, rock him and speak words of encouragement, love and promise but I can not make his life easier. I can not make sure he gets 3 square meals a day. I can not make sure he is in a warm and comfortable bed by 7:30. I can not make sure his nose is wiped and his hands are clean. I can not remove his burden. I can not.

Luckily it doesn't end with me
Come to me all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.